The Big Day

It all started about eight months ago today, and none of the guys had let me hear the end of it. The day they found out, there was all that hooting and hollering, all the talk of "she'll be the death of you" and "count your days". The usual, I guess. There was a flurry of planning, but I was left out of most of it; us guys, we just have to smile and nod when they hand us our marching orders.

On the day itself, things were quiet. I was nervous, a little scared, but that's about what I expected. My parents were there, and the priest, and I was able to pick out a few other people I recognized. I was wearing black with a fresh haircut, but I could have been in a clown suit for all I knew. There was a lump in my throat and two truly epic sweat stains starting to form under my arms.

I walked down the aisle to the front, where she was already waiting. It wasn't traditional, her being there, but that's what she wanted. The priest gave a brief sermon, and there was some fiddling around. I guess things weren't going like they had rehearsed. After a few moments, things had settled down, and I found my place. Tears glinted in my eyes as she placed the ring on. I saw my parents in the front row, and they were crying too.

With no further words, the district attorney motioned to the warden. He nodded at her, and then a hundred thousand volts were cascading through the metal rings on my body like the fury of God. I never even saw the overhead lights dim.

For a second, I thought the whole thing reminded me of something else. Before I could figure what, my brain blew out like a candle.